At a loss for words

Today we traveled to Kilgali to go to the Kilgali Genocide Museum, then to the 

Nyamata memorial site and then to        Ntarama memorial site. It made for a very emotional day!      

We were overcome with what we saw     and learned throughout the day.

Even after reading books and studying.   the topic there is something jarring and    disturbing when you immerse yourself in the culture and location of sites of           atrocities. I don’t think you can ever fully be prepared. 

As I walked the halls in the museum and observed the exhibits and read the wordsthat went with the displays I began to      loose comprehension skills. It was as if    the words on the paper were not making sense. 

How was this allowed to happen? 

I struggled with a number of topics:

The role of the international community

Hate

The power of propaganda

I am not ready to expand or expound       further at this time, I need to digest it all a little more. 

I was moved by the stories of the people who did help and the unsung heroes whoemerged during the Genocide. As well asthe Rwandans desire to reconcile with     their past and choose love instead of      hate. 

If I struggled with comprehension in the museum... there is no comprehension at tthe memorials. 

Both sites are churches where almost     15,000 people were murdered. 

At these sites all your senses get assaulted. You don’t understand what you are   hearing, you can’t believe what you are   seeing you don’t want to touch anything, and you get the sense that others have    felt the same way, blood soaked clothing sits on the pews and on the floor that     was from the victims-and you feel like     you can smell death, it all leaves a bad     tast in your mouth. 

To make things more surreal, while          visiting the Ntarama memorial, a burial mass was going to be taken place    for a family of three whose remains were just found in a nearby field,      twenty five years later. Our guide      showed us the casket filled with the  remains and told us that a mass was being held at the new church and     they would be coming for a burial    service soon. As we were leaving, the family, friends and community         members showed up. 

I struggle with the idea of a safe      place, a place of worship,  becoming a scene of violence and yet it still.    plagues us to this day! 

I have more thinking and studying to do!

A big shout out to the wonderfully    thoughtful and insightful students    we are with, who rode the emotional rollercoaster as well and had thought provoking questions and comments during or debrief. I am encouraged    that this experience will go with them and assist in formulating who they   become.